Towards the end of February 2009, a couple of people in the Catholic young adult group (Society of St. Thomas More) I was a part of in Florence began a 33-day journey (Thank you, St. Louis de Montfort!), where each day we spent a specific amount of time devoting ourselves to Jesus through our Blessed Mother, through a number of prayers and studying and reflecting on Scripture and readings. It was during that time when I really began to grow in my admiration of Mother Mary by undergoing much reflection on her life and all the great virtues she possessed. Her title as “Mother of God” meant much more. Soon she became an integral part of my daily walk with Jesus, her Son. (Check out my first post of this journey, here.)
A few weeks later, I was admitted into a hospital after a night and morning of experiencing sharp pains in my abdominal area. It was as if someone was repeatedly piercing me on my left side. I called my mom that same morning before going to the hospital and she diagnosed me over the phone. I had an idea of what my body might have been going through, but I was still afraid. I was alone and afraid.
I was laid onto a hospital bed then rolled right outside the doors of the x-ray/sonogram room. This would be my first real hospital experience, and I was in a totally different country. I had nobody with me. I grasped my beautiful blue Marian Rosary tighter than ever as I was about to enter the room. In that same moment, I looked up and saw a large replica of Fra Angelico’s famous painting, The Annunciation. My mom may have been thousands of miles away, but in that instant, I realized I had my Heavenly Mother with me. I was reminded: “Thy Will be done, Lord. Thy Will be done.” A few hours passed and tests were done. I was released that evening and given medications that temporarily ceased the pain. (Little did I know, the pain would revisit three months later… but that’s another story!)
A week later I flew out to London for Spring Break as scheduled, before any of this craziness happened. I was healed in just a matter of days so I was able to travel just fine. That Wednesday of Spring Break was the last day of my journey. It was my Consecration Day. I consecrated myself to Jesus through the Blessed Mother in her Chapel of Westminster Cathedral on the Feast of the Annunciation. Her role in my life was clear, and I was filled with significant joy because of the fact that I would never be alone, especially in the midst of suffering.
Well, that was only the beginning of my beautifully renewed relationship with my Heavenly Mother. From then on, it has always been about carrying my daily crosses with her as my source of inspiration and dedicating each day of my life to Jesus through her. Everything I do, say, hear, and write: Totus Tuus. Every day, she helps me with my fiat, my “yes” to her Son’s beautiful plans for my life. And every day, she draws me closer to Him.
Totus tuus ego sum, et omnia mea tua sunt.
So, now you’re probably wondering, “Alright – so why ‘Oblatio Sui’”? To be completely honest, it’s because the domain “Totus Tuus” was taken. But after thinking quick, I turned to my other favorite prayer, which is also about self-dedication to Jesus (see below); the same idea of “Totus Tuus”, basically.
“Oblatio Sui” is roughly translated to “an offering.” This is my offering to Him. My hope is that this blog will serve as an aid for myself as I keep notes of my journey in dedicating myself to Christ daily. I also pray that it may help, challenge, and speak to you in the smallest way possible.
Lord Jesus Christ,
take all my freedom, my memory, my understanding, and my will.
All that I have and cherish you have given me.
I surrender it all to be guided by your will.
Your grace and your love are wealth enough for me.
Give me these, Lord Jesus, and I ask for nothing more.
- St. Ignatius of Loyola
